It is always said that in the population of 7 billion people, everyone has a special someone out there in the universe. It is difficult for a human being to stay in isolation for a long time because it is a social animal. Therefore, every person wants to have a significant other. Undoubtedly, the dating game has taken several turns in all these years. These changes are an outcome of development in how people think and perceive relationships.
Loving is one of the most beautiful things to happen and if you find it, consider yourself lucky. But people often overlook the fact that falling in love is easier than sustaining it. A relationship cannot just survive on love, it needs compassion, perseverance, understanding, companionship, and balance.
Rarely will you find people who still believe in traditional methods of love and marriage. Today, couples are practical and forward-looking. Hence, they consider moving in together before considering thoughts about marriage.
If you know that he/she is the one for you, then you can consider moving in together. There is no such standard rule as to what is the right time to move in, it may vary for different people depending on the trajectory of their relationship.
Nevertheless, various relationship experts have argued that moving in too soon with your partner can boil up things due to a lack of elements essential in a relationship. But how do you determine if you are moving in too soon or if it is the right time to move in? Follow this guide to know key points about moving in together with your partner.
How long should the dating period be before moving in?
A relationship is a melange of emotional and physical proximities between 2 people. To take your relationship to another level, one has to take a step forward, and moving in seems like a good option. Sharing a space means you will have more time together, you can even cut down costs and have each other’s backs in most circumstances.
However, relationship experts suggest that couples should complete at least 1 year of dating each other before thinking of moving in. It is because a certain amount of time is required for two people to open up, understand and align with each other. If you rush into moving in within the first few months of dating, you may end up turning things toxic and hurting yourself.
There is a difference between the urge to move in and a decision to move in. The former may only occur due to infatuation, however, the latter will depend upon logic, practicality, and feasibility. Giving yourself and your partner time to understand each other better will strengthen the relationship even more so wait for it. Don’t spoil the thing you have in haste. After you have completed a year or two of togetherness, then you can think about moving in.
Signs it is too soon to move in with your partner
In a relationship, it is quite difficult to spot what is wrong and what isn’t. Hence, you have to be careful if you are thinking of moving in too soon. Nobody would like the idea of spending time, energy, and efforts to find a place only to end up realizing it was not the best thing to do. The conversation is one thing that can prevent you from getting into a space from where there’s no coming back. Here is a checklist of signs that can help you to determine if it is too early for you to move in, noticing these signs will provide you clarity as to whether to proceed or not:
- You have no understanding of each other’s feelings
Lack of understanding in a relationship leads to arguments and unnecessary fights. If you know that you and your partner have no understanding of each other, then moving in together will only make it worse. Rather than moving in together, give time and space to each other to make things better.
- You are using it as an escape to overcome heartbreak
Many people use relationships to recover from heartbreaks in the past, they think that welcoming someone new in their lives will provide them a gateway to move on. But as humans, we require healing from time to time. When people don’t heal and rush to move in together, they end up hurting themselves more.
- You have not discussed the finances
Discussing the finances and expenses is one of the most important aspects of moving in. Often mismanagement of finances and miscommunication can lead to toxicity and bitterness between two people. It is similar to how business partnerships ruin friendships due to money matters. It is better to discuss all the financial matters in advance if you have decided to move in.
- You see it as an escape to resolve existing problems
Falling in love is only the teaser to the film called relationship. You can say that infatuation is just the tip of the iceberg, a long long journey lies ahead. When problems start occurring between partners, the only solution is listening and conversing. But when these elements go missing, partners think of moving in together as a solution to obstruction. That is the worst thing you can do to a relationship.
- You are doing it out of pressure
Sometimes, there is a lot of pressure from friends and family to shift together. It is because they think it is the right time for you to take the next step. However, you have to sit with yourself and ask if it is really what you want. After making your decision, discuss it with your partner if they really do want to move in, because the decision will certainly affect you the most.
- Your sole objective is reducing the cost of living
Of course, you can cut down your costs while living together, that is the cherry on the cake. But it can not be the only purpose of moving in. The first objects of moving in have to be spending time, taking the relationship to another level, and sharing life. If you are thinking of moving in just to cut the costs, then it is not the right decision.
- You know too little about each other’s habits
Knowing each other well is important before taking any drastic step. Loving someone and living with someone is quite different from each other. When you live with your partner, you have to tolerate their habits. Small arguments can lead to big ones if you do not know enough about your partner. Some habits will be irritating you will have to learn to accept them in order to live together.
- You are simply bored of your life and want an adventure
Life gets monotonous after a point, hence, moving in with your partner looks like a good adventure. It has the potential to bring excitement and novelty to your life. However, moving in with your partner actually seems quite amusing but that should not be the sole purpose. Because after a point of time, you will get bored of that too and will search for another escape.
Questions to ask before making the decision
After putting all the thoughts into the good and bad of moving in with your partner, you must have noticed all the signs. If these signs have helped you to come to a decision, then you must consider asking the below-mentioned questions to yourself and your partner. These questions can help you to assess whether it is too early to move in.
- How will we divide finance related to renting, electricity bills, and additional expenses?
- Who will be managing the pet and taking care of its daily needs?
- If we break up, who will be residing in the flat and who will be leaving to look for new accommodation?
- After moving in together, how will we solve small arguments due to each other habits?
- What extent of space and privacy do we need?
- What will happen if our parents visit us, and what if things turn awkward?
- How will we make sure to find time between work?
- How will we divide the duties of cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, and other household chores?
- What will be the division of responsibilities look like?
- Will drinking, smoking, gaming with friends at house parties be a fuss to you?
- What kind of house decor will we need?
- Will there be a problem if one partner travels outstation for long period?
Ways to know when you are ready to move in
Once you have sat with your partner, discussed all the discrepancies, answered the questions honestly, and now both of you have come to a conclusion that moving in together is the best decision for your relationship at that point in time, then you have a green signal. But remember if there is any sort of red flag amidst this conversation, please don’t ignore it. It might seem small right now but when you move in together, these petty problems become the reason for separation without either of you knowing any of it.
We have prepared a list for you to know if you are ready to move in. If you have the following things in your relationship, then there is no point doubting your decision to moving in:
- You always plan your budget for the month in advance.
- You believe in communication and conversation rather than escaping the argument.
- Your purpose for moving in is clear.
- Your parents are informed about this decision and they are okay with it.
- You have already survived the worst fights of your relationship.
- You are well aware of each other’s habits, behavior, and character.
- You share a bond of friendship and respect and give it first priority.
- You know each other work schedules.
- You have decided who will do what once you have shifted.
- You have a plan in place on how to deal with arguments in cohabitation so that it doesn’t harm you physically or emotionally.
- You have the capacity to deal with each other’s mess.
Will it benefit you as a couple?
Moving in together can really help to deepen and enrich your relationship. Spending time together, eating, cooking, and doing all other household chores enhances the comfort level between couples. Not only this but if both of you are mature to deal with things well, it can even help you in individual and collective growth. You will gradually reach the same page in the relationship. You can even discuss and plan your future together. Elimination of toxic traits will lay a good foundation for your relationship and you never know, you may even go ahead for marriage.
Undoubtedly, moving with your partner seems like the best thing to do when you are in love. Even if the relationship doesn’t work out in the end, the mistakes will help you to learn. These experiences in life are important for personal growth. And if fortunately, you decide to stay with your partner and decide to spend a lifetime together, moving in will act as a catalyst in your relationship. Nothing defines “too soon” better than your gut feeling and intuition. After all the assessment and analysis, if you feel that it is the right time to shift with your partner, then go for it. Do what your heart says.